Royal Rumble 1996, live from Fresno, California. Shawn Michaels wins it again. Let’s Retroflekt. This is the first time there was a main event after the Royal Rumble.

Match 1:

Ahmed Johnson vs. “Double J” Jeff Jarrett:

Jarrett just about decapitated Ahmed at the In Your House 5 with the guitar so they meet once again at Royal Rumble 1996.  Ahmed almost kills Jarrett in the beginning. Jarrett tries a hiptoss and manages Johnson to the corner; Ahmed hits and blocks his own. Double J attempts to whip him from the corner but Ahmed turns right into a quick clothesline. Jarrett gets and charges powerslammed and shoulderblocked. Flying clothesline; Jarrett ducks sending Johnson on the top rope and Ahmed charges however he gets his hand caught in the very best rope.

Back to the ring, Ahmed on struts and the ropes hangs. Ahmed fires up and totally blows off a lot of double ax handles; Jarrett jumps off the top right that is … . Jarrett pulls away to the ground so he is followed by Ahmed out. So the hold is released by Jarrett Ahmed turns; Jeff Jarrett remains in the leg but he is kicked by Ahmed off another figure four. Jeff Jarrett gets frustrated so he comes off the top rope using a lethal guitar and catches the guitar -shot to Ahmed’s head. DQ win for Ahmed Johnson

Match 2:

WWF Tag Team Championship:

Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas (w/Sunny):

The battle for Sunny! Will the other blond guy get her or her blond boyfriend Chris Candido? Bart Gunn comes in but gets extricated in the ring. They attempt to slingshot back Bart in the ring however he releases the top rope slingshots BOTH Bodydonnas to the ground. Apt. Billy Gunn follows up onto them having a topé to the ground. Bart and Billy pinball Skip between Zip and them attempts to help but gets clobbered. Billy Gunn with her hotness diverts. Zip chops however they and Bart tags in are sold; Bart returns press and the chop favor -slams him.

Blind label lets Skip to clobber Bart using a clothesline. The Gunns do something similar and hit on a mixture Hart Attack-like move. Bright rebounds around on the apron Billy is whipped by Skip throws into the ropes accidentally knocking her away. Billy gets double crossed and checks on her. Skip pescatos to the ground onto Billy. Skip slams front and Billy suplex splashes Zip onto him afterward, Zip gutwrench powerbombs Skim onto Billy. Exceptional tandem offense from the Donnas. The referee distracts as well as Billy is unloaded on by the Bodydonnas; reverse chinlock by Zip. A second-rope fist drops. The Donnas strike Billy to get a close two count having a double flapjack. The Gunns smash the Sidewinder but Sunny is to the apron distracting the referee Skip covers… for two and nails Bart from the very best!! Zip flings Billy to they plus the ground double backdrop Bart.  Billy tackles Zip Bart gets the cradle on Skip.

Match 3:

WWF Intercontinental Championship:

Razor Ramon vs. Goldust (w/Marlena):

o Razor throws his toothpick Goldust fondles himself. Razor gets wrenches and pissed . Razor attempts Goldust and a wastelock reverses and senses upwards Razor. Mind games. Goldust keeps attempting to feel Ramon up to p*** away him and it’s working. Goldust places Marlena between them and pulls away to the ground. They trade headlock/head scissors reversals; hides and Goldust retreats behind Marlena. Ramon eventually gets clotheslines and annoyed Goldust on the very best. This time transfers Marlena out of the way but Goldust rams him into the apron as well as the steps. Double hits the bulldog; slingshot backdrop suplex by Goldust and whips him and axe off the very best by Goldust several times. Gold dust is blown by Marlena . Goldust slaps on a sleeper hold and follows up using a swinging neckbreaker. Razor Ramon counters using a low blow that is backdoor. Razor comes back having a driving chokeslam, fall-away slam as well as a backdrop superplex. 1-2-3 Kid interferes, Goldust wins the Intercontinental Belt.

Match 4:

The Royal Rumble:

#1 and #2 Godwinn and Hunter Hearst Helmsley. Godwinn clotheslines and backdrops him although hHH assaults instantly. After a while, Godwinn is worked over by Backlund. They take turns attempting to remove each other. As the bunch irritates Lawler with “Burger King” chants all three cads work over Godwinn. Lawler catches Godwinn’s slop pail however he reverses and gets the pail and pursues everyone out of the ring with it. He drops in all over Lawler. Hunter gets Godwinn over the top however he saves himself.

As it’s time for #6 King Mabel drifts to the ring, they conflict on the ropes. Mabel and the kings Lawler work over Godwinn. Bob and hHH Holly conflict on the opposite side; Backlund attempts to drop both of them and meanders around. He unveils everyone scatters his snake, and drapes it all over Lawler; he scampers under the ring. Mabel is saved by Sir Mo but gets clobbered. The devotees as well as everyone conflicts chant “DDT”. We get a shot of Lawler peeping out his head from under the ring. #9 Yokozuna shambles to the ring and he REMOVES and enters Bob Backlund. Yoko and Mabel threaten to tip the ring over brawling in the exact same corner. Oh, there Yoko and Mabel eclipses in the corner him. Mabel avalanches Yoko killing Godwinn behind him.

The Child clobbers HHH in the corner. Ōmori gets chopped by Mabel; Ōmori attempts to slam Mabel for some reason. Jake knocks him down and tees off on Yokozuna. Here is #12 Savio Vega; it’s excellent to hear Vince McMahon shout Saaaaaaaaavio Vega, his name! Savio twist kicks Mabel; retaliation for King of the Ring. Mabel is subsequently ELIMINATED by Yokozuna. Holly attempts to work Yoko and Dory Funk vertical suplexes Vega over. #13 Vader introductions in the WWF; Holly is beaten in by him. Vader ruins him in the corner and catches Vega. Vader and Yoko go at it as Jake DDTs Savio Vega. Then Vader clotheslines him so hard he gets REMOVED although Jake attempts to DDT Gilbert. Vader clobbers Gilbert and then the 1-2-3 Kid. Gilbert is run over by Vader. #15 Squat Team I debuts here; I don’t understand who he is but his partner along with he didn’t continue much more after the Rumble. He’s a huge fat man with boots such as the Iron Sheik. Vader chokeslams Doug Gilbert as 1-2-3 and HHH brawl.

#16 Squat Team II, who looks just like his partner and his brother, heads towards the ring and meet in the aisle and they both head for the strike and ring Vader. 17 “King of Harts” Owen Hart cries down all the way to the ring. Everyone brawls in Savio and the corner makes the error of going for Vader and Yoko. Vader throws Savio into the corner then beats him and Yokozuna together and follows up with his own avalanche. Savio is dead. Vader splashes him and slams Savio and Yoko follows up with the Hulkbuster legdrop. Savio’s children now are dead. #18 Shawn Michaels comes out as Vince loses him head; he assaults everyone. Vader ELIMINATES him and scrapes Savio off the canvas.

Fellow Kliq is attacked by Shawn members 1-2-3 Kid and Helmsley subsequently goes for Owen who injured him with an enziguri a couple of months past. Vader and Yoko brawl by the ropes; HBK REMOVES both of them and the crowd bursts and slips around. Shawn press-slams outside the Child, REMOVING him, along with the crowd goes totally nuts. Yokozuna and Vader brawl on the ground as #19 Hakushi walks to the ring. Vader storms back in the ring and knocks down Yokozuna and Jim Cornette, beats up Shawn Michaels and press -slams him to the floor then he kicks and Bob Holly and the crap apart sending them all to the flooring.

Everyone reenters Cornette is beaten up by HBK. HBK teeters on the very best rope several times. Bob Holly and hHH have really been in the ring an extremely very long time. Hakushi nearly drops it, same effect then HHH attempts. Owen gets Hakushi on a corner float-around and REMOVES him. #21 Aldo Montoya (wow, he’d that gimmick for more than a total year) runs to the ring. HBK winds up on the floor where Jerry Lawler hiding under the ring is found by him; he pulls him back in. #22 Diesel walks out to the ring as Shawn ELIMINATES Jerry Lawler and Tatanka REMOVES Aldo Montoya.

Diesel clobbers everyone REMOVING Tatanka in the method and comes in. Diesel finds they brawl and Shawn; Owen assaults Diesel shoulder blocking him in the corner. Shawn finds new means to nearly go over the top. Here is #23 Kama, the Supreme Fighting Machine section of the Million Dollar Corporation, I believe. Kama assaults defeats and Diesel him in the corner Shawn pummels Holly in the other corner. HHH on the apron dangles; Diesel misses a clout on nails and Kama HBK. Kama has Diesel over the top as #24 “Ringmaster” Steve Austin, with no goatee and hair and additionally not around yet, heads out. Ted Dibiase’s present Million Dollar Winner, Austin, clobbers Bob Holly; Diesel shows up and assaults Ringmaster. Ringmaster REMOVES Bob Holly after almost forty minutes with a tall knee in-ring. Owen gets HBK on the very best rope. It ’s #25 Barry Horowitz, awe-inspiring.

He is attacked by diesel. Owen skins-the-cat on Diesel and Shawn Michaels continues to fight with Kama. Diesel takes a minute away to start (REMOVE) Hunter Heart Helmsley outside after nearly fifty minutes of in-ring time. Poor Horowitz gets found as #26 Fatu just with Diesel, no longer a Headshrinker, no he’s “Makin’ a Difference”; he’d ultimately get over as Rikishi in 2000 gets his customary great draw. As Horowitz beats on Owen in the corner, Fatu superkicks Kama upon his entrance. Ringmaster and diesel go on the ropes at it. Owen almost gets him outside and suplexes Shawn by the ropes.

It’s… it’s… KANE!!! Oh, wait it’s only #27 Isaac Yankem, D.D.S., my awful. Yankem goes for Diesel; out REMOVING him Owen backdrops Horowitz. Poop. Owen enziguris Shawn knocking him (almost) out chilly; a “double feature” replay hides HBK using a momentum move to REMOVE Owen Hart. Here is #28 Marty Jannetty rockin’ to the ring; Kama caught and clobbered him. Fatu drapes HBK on the very best rope for about the fifty billionth time but doesn’t go out. Jannetty headbutts Fatu, he might not be a Headshrinker but is no effect, Samoan. Eventually, Marty and Shawn understand they’re brawl to a vast ovation and in an identical ring. They stone each other with a double clothesline spot and run the ropes.

Diesel side suplexes Marty; #2 this past year from drawing #29 British Bulldog getting great karma. He seeks out Shawn for vengeance; he’s a cad here. The Ringmaster REMOVING him is upended by Fatu; don’t feel terrible he’ll win a few or one, later on.

Kama clotheslines Fatu subsequently Yankem ELIMINATES Fatu. Does that count towards Kane’s removal totals? The last entrant is # 30 he heads for Yankem. Bulldog and Shawn Michaels conflict on the floor (not removed) where Owen Hart reappears and the brothers in law defeat on Shawn Michaels. HBK dropkicks Isaac Yankem over the top REMOVING him. Kama and diesel team up to REMOVE Duke Droese. The closing four for the 1996 Royal Rumble are; Diesel, Shawn Michaels, British Bulldog and Kama. Kama gets HBK over the top but he skins-the-cat back in. Diesel forces Kama over the top REMOVING him. Diesel turns into a superkick REMOVING him giving his second straight Royal Rumble success to Shawn Michaels.

Match 5:

WWF Heavyweight Championship:

Bret “Hitman” Hart vs. Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer):

Undertaker is avoided by Bret Hart, then Bret pummels him in the corner and catches him. Bret is lifted by Undertaker choke and rams him into the corner. Undertaker attempts to smother Bret and uses a claw hold. DQ, um? Ropewalk forearm reapplies the claw smother hold and links for the Taker. Bret wakes up the crowd with a kick off a corner charge and also a second-rope clothesline.

Bret pescatos onto him and sends Taker to the ground. Undertaker attempts to javelin him into the post but Bret slips off posts the Undertaker and his back; … right charges into a kick. Bret is rammed by him into the steel barricade. This match feels like it’s in slow mo. A reversal is managed by Bret on the ground and throws Undertaker into the steps injuring his leg. Away from helping the Undertaker, Bret works the leg on the ground and pursues Paul Bearer. They’ve been on the floor for an excellent two minutes?

Bret ultimately rolls back Taker in the ring and uses the “Diesel strategy”; work the leg so Undertaker can hardly stand. Bret works the leg rope that is dropping helped splatters onto it, leg whipping it and using a toe hold as well as a figure four leglock. Taker rolls over on the figure four so Bret catches the ropes. Another leglock used by Bret Hart. The devotees chant “Rest in peace”, they have to be bored also. Undertaker throws him into the measures throws Bret over the top and chokes him with an electric wire. DQ, um? Oh, wait hindrance ran, never mind. Taker throws Bret into the timekeeper’s table and jabs at him with a seat. As the Vince Russo sway was slowly starting to kick in both babyface men are working heel strategies. Taker misses the poor wheel snaps over.

Buffs start to boo at Bret. Foreshadowing. Bret wraps the poor leg into the ringpost; only like at the ’95 Rumble  versus Diesel. Undertaker drops a leg; clothesline by the Undertaker and reverses the hold. Taker goes for the Tombstone overly close to the ropes, that, coupled with Bret getaways and the awful leg to the ground. Undertaker keeps sitting up on him although Bret goes through his normal moves. The Sharpshooter is countered by Undertaker with a goozle. The ropes run and double clothesline each other. Bret gets first up and removes a turnbuckle pad. A cross body attempts but jumps right in to a Tombstone. Diesel pulls and reappears referee Earl Hebner out of the ring drawing on a DQ for Bret Hart. Diesel leaves and gives the bird to Undertaker.

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